Ah, it’s the little birds again. The chirping at the break of dawn. It’s funny I can actually hear their wings flap, all the way from inside here. I wonder where the other two with melodies are today. Perhaps they’ve worked all night, like me, and are just retiring to bed too. But birds are creatures of habit; bats stick to the nights and those with sweet melodies fly out at dawn. What if a vampire bat bit them and they turned into nocturnal hunters with blazing red eyes and… shiver my timbers! Here they come. How unnatural they sound. Such perfection one ought to wonder if they are man-made!

Here it comes again. Nature against man. The unnerving subject that has been clogging my mind of recent. This makes no sense. It’s elementary to me. Man is greater than the gods. If I had to, I’d worship and fear man. I once worshiped a god but I got tired of excuses. A man enters a church and slaughters hundreds of believers praying to their god to rescue them. I was told that’s god’s will. Curse the gods; man won. They told me nature was crafted by the gods. I have seen man alter nature. I have seen nature defeat man. Man is greater than the gods. The gods had no hand in nature. I read a brief history of religion. It’s possible man created the gods. Nature has strength but it’s too random. Man didn’t create nature. Man is too random and aesthetically unpleasant. Man didn’t create man. Nature must have created man. Man loses against nature?

No. That’s not the point. I think I know the point. I should stop running away from this. This will drive me insane, probably. I don’t know a word for it. Perhaps I know but I am avoiding it. I hate the way certain words label us. Labels are the first step towards grouping. Ah, there’s me drifting away yet again. Blasted sawbones! I may as well take it by the horns. The puzzle. Yes, the puzzle.

The puzzle is beautiful. It’s what academics, scientists, lawyers, engineers, artists and others have created that take up our days. See the intricate beauty that those potholed roads are; the significance! Then bikes, cars, planes, trains, boats… The government and the laws that keep us functioning as society. By Merlin! The complexity and necessity that the economic systems are!!! The puzzle, folks. The puzzle!!! Dear me! I love the puzzle. I study the puzzle and I forget to stare at the stars. The puzzle breaks me. The puzzle makes me want to be part of a greater body. I cannot. I know I only feel that because I want to claim contribution to the puzzle. I know I have not. It makes me feel empty. It makes me feel weak. I have stolen from other men. I have amassed much knowledge and contributed none. I know it. I cannot “unknow” it.

I cannot. Can it get worse? Yes. I have occasionally trashed the works of great puzzle men. I apologise to those who created gods. I have no right to dismiss such perfection. I do acknowledge that there’s faults in your creation. I only wish you had a platform for bug complaints. Mercy, folks. Mercy. I am just waking up to my fallacies. I shouldn’t have this much if I am to fight nature. Man versus nature. Is the puzzle meant to protect us from nature? Here it comes again. Perhaps some of us are only as good as gods or less. Only the men of the puzzle are greater than gods. I want to add a piece to the puzzle. Maybe just a button. Or a data port. Perhaps a curse word. I need some sleep…maybe…

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