Lecture Note 5A**Tests**
Tests, as per this post, are man made events primarily intended to scare 6 hells out of any other human. The one who conducts the test is always the master of the moment, and can only be pleased with bribes. The one who takes the test is the slave and has no say unless he bribes.
Over the years, there have emerged two theories over the first test. One school of thought claim that either Adam or Eve took an AIDS test shortly after being thrown out of the garden. The time is placed between 1 to 7 days. The second school of thought place their estimate at 1 -2 months and claim it was a pregnancy test; character was Eve.
The 5 Popular tests
Frank’s model of 5 Spine Spinning Tests points to the following 5 tests.
1. HIV/AIDS Test
This test emerged in 19something and has become the most popular of all tests. Slaves are said to experience two heart conditions as they wait for the results; either the heart stops beating or it beats so hard it comes out of the chest. Some individual cases of paralysis in the legs have been recorded when they are heading to the test center.
Seriously: Take the test.
2. Pregnancy Test
Not much is known about whatever goes on in the minds of the female because – since this model was developed by a member of the male family who have never been able to hack into the minds of the female ever. Anyway, the male is known to pace back and forth in wait of result as the female…uhhh, I don’t know. A positive result is likely to cause a breakup and likely abortion but cases of legitimate relationships often sense champagne in the air.
3. Mental Test
Almost all who take this test fail it. The only known case of a student who passed is Odongkara Frank, a wise son of West Nile. Not much happens before or after taking this test since all candidates and potential candidates including you, yes YOU! shall surely fail this test. Frank assumes the idea of this test was by a mentally ill human too; all men are anyway.
4. Academic Test
I have been there, you have been there… we have done that, seen it all and the struggle in this one continues.
In 1990, Frank’s year of birth, he came up with the much acclaimed and not yet heard of before by you test. If you heard of this test before, you pass; If you hadn’t, you fail.